Maybe we don’t say it enough

Gwen and Kate, Image by Vicky Dubois Photography

Every now and then, we’ll receive an email and the relief we read in their having found us will take us aback… the relief isn’t necessarily about finding a dress - it’s about not feeling judged, about there not being any pressure to be someone they’re not, that they can bring their whole self to the appointment and simply be accepted. And every time it catches me off guard.

Not because I don't understand why they are saying it. But because I've spent most of my life in the goth community, and somewhere along the way I forgot that not everyone takes that acceptance for granted.

For me, it has always been normal. The alternative scene was built by people who existed outside of the mainstream. People who didn't fit the mould, didn't follow the rules and didn't particularly want to. The people I grew up around were artists, goths, metalheads, punks, pagans, queer people, outsiders, dreamers and wonderfully strange souls from all walks of life.

You didn't need permission to be yourself… you just showed up.

Rachael, Image: Alt Wedding Co

So when people tell me they were nervous about walking through our door because of their size, their age, their gender, their neurodivergence, their disability, the colour of their skin, or simply because they worried they wouldn't fit in, my immediate reaction is often confusion. Of course you're welcome! Why wouldn't you be?

But then I remember that not everybody has spent their life surrounded by people who think that way. The truth is, we've never created Legend Bridal with a particular type of person in mind. We've created it for people who want to feel like themselves. That's it.

Jax and Adam, Image: Vicky Dubois Phoogrphy

Over the years we've dressed people of all ages, sizes, backgrounds, identities and styles. Some have been lifelong goths. Others simply fell in love with a black dress. Some arrive covered in tattoos. Some arrive wearing florals and apologising for not looking alternative enough. And every single one belongs here.

If I'm honest, this is probably why you don't see me talking about these things very often, and particularly not on camera! The moment I start thinking about how many people have spent years feeling judged, excluded or worried that they wouldn't be accepted, I get emotional. I always think of that lovely bloke from The Great Pottery Throw Down who cries whenever somebody does something wonderful. That's me! Not because I feel sorry for people, but because I feel incredibly proud when someone realises they don't have to change who they are.

Tierra

One of the greatest privileges of this job is watching that moment happen. The moment someone stops asking if they're allowed to wear black. Stops asking if they're alternative enough. Stops asking if they're too old, too curvy, too tattooed, too quiet, too loud or too different, and simply starts seeing themselves as a person excited to get married.

Perhaps we've never talked about inclusivity very much because we've always assumed it was understood.

Perhaps we've spent so long living these values that we forgot not everyone knows they're welcome.

Morgan and Sarah, Image: The Queer Bundle

So, just in case you need to hear it:

You don't need to become somebody else to find your wedding dress.

You only need to be yourself.

We'll take care of the rest.

Whitney